Is Dating Advice Only for the Dysfunctional?
After a twenty-plus year marriage, I started dating. Everyone I’d ever dated including my ex-husband, I’d met at school. A lot had changed in the dating landscape. People, I heard, weren’t meeting organically anymore. I did what ‘everyone’ does and went on dating apps: from OKCupid to Tinder and every one in between.
It was…a disaster.
Married men. Separated (but hung up on their ex) men. Emotionally unavailable men. I could go on, and did in a podcast and a memoir. My experiences weren’t unique, I now know. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t shocked and surprised by the landscape.
There are plenty of fish in the sea and everyone has the same rod, hook, and bait.
After several boyfriends or situationships or whatever, I started looking for advice because this was the only area of my life that was an unmitigated mess. At first, I went old school, and read a lot of hardcover tomes. Remember, The Rules, or He's Just Not That Into You. The first, and books of its ilk were all about playing games. The latter were better, but somehow didn’t speak to what I was experiencing.
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