When I was dating post-divorce, one man said to me, “I promised myself I wouldn’t lie to get into relationships. But you’re here, so it works.”
I promptly took myself home and broke up with him the next week.
In my experience, when a guy says to me, “You’re the same,” after weeks or months of dating, I know the end is near. My post-divorce dating has been…not great. The men I’ve dated come on strong, but then they fade when I meet the real them.
Call me naïve, but I’d never considered that men would lie, or to put it more charitably misrepresent themselves at the beginning of a relationship. Furthermore, I never thought that they would assume because they were being deceptive, that I was too.
I was recently talking with my hairdresser while we were doing our quarterly two-day session of elaborate braids and hair extensions when we were doing an autopsy on some of these guys. I mentioned the ‘same’ comment to her and she probed deeper. My hairdresser is brilliant. No lie. She understands people like no one else I’ve ever met, outside of my therapist.
She said that a lot of men, put what they think is their best foot forward when starting a new relationship. For the secure well-adjusted ones, that means impeccable grooming, planning a date, and maybe even paying for it. For the more insecure ones, they just…lie.
Here's an abbreviated list of the lies that I was told (and a translation to truth):
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Moore Confidential by Jolie Moore to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.